IRL BESTIES DO NAWT READ

if you do,

your mother

you know when you spend the day away from your phone, just to check it at the end of the day and see no texts? yeah wtf

i shouldnt even be pressed bc i got to spend the day with my awesome sister, and we had loads of fun and touched grass n shit, and its not even like NOBODY responded to me when i shot out my silly little texts but like,, my besties have hardly talked to me all day. no reason behind it. ig thats just kind of weird. sometimes i stg they dont like me bc i dont rlly feel like i fit in with them anymore cause we all met in like 2016. i was a massive dickwad back then. like obv im probably irrational, and i know i’m cool and badass still, no duh?? but its rlly easy to feel like an outsider.

like,, i’ll call myself a fag and they wont like it. which is fine ofc, whatever. call urself whatever and have your opinions, its lit good 4 u. that’s not even rlly the point, just an example, but i just feel so,, different?? like more rough, like i’m sandpaper and theyre softwood. like,, i’ll celebrate 4th of july in a tongue in cheek ironic “fuck america” way but if i told them i get hyped up for it they might not like that. i am tolerant and willing to listen to other ppls religious beliefs so long as they aren’t using them for bad shit or to be a fucking homophobe, and i’ve had a friend laugh at someone abt it in a parking lot. granted, that person was trying to talk to us abt jesus n all that in a white button-up shirt, but they coulda just followed my lead and nicely said no thanks??? like i feel like that’s the nice thing to do if you have no interest, but whatev. i never confronted them abt it, and its way too late to. whatever. no use in worrying.

idk, its been a lot on my mind, feeling like i cant talk abt my shit without feeling like my best friends will want to stick by me. and like my bestie bestie?? feels like they hardly talk to me anymore. its fucking devastating, but i keep cool bc they need lots of alone time. i guess thats something i’ll never get XD they had me convinced i was a clingy asshole, but that was when i let ppl walk all over me.

they also refuse to accommodate my meltdowns? (autism at its least cute lmfao) like i get that they make me a horrible prick but at least don’t guilt me after i’ve come down from it. i haven't had them recently and honestly i chalk that up to not being a teen anymore and cutting off half my family. In conclusion, ha ha mental illness

MOVING ON LMAO

still working on stuff for the website ofc. what else would i do if not XD i don’t want to say what i’m working on, but just know it’s not anything i’ve done b4 and i’m super excited abt it. I already knowww the coding is going to be a fucking nightmare, buttttt?? it’s going to be sick as hell so i’ll get over it

also if any of you baddies has spacehey and you want a layout i’ve started making those when i just NEED to code smthn for funsies XD so stop by my profile to look at them if you want to. or dont. whatever.

anyways tysm for so many website views lately omfg k thx byeee

lie ability's super secret journal